What Are We All Afraid Of?

Hey there! My exams all got over on the 17th of this month, about 3 days back. Hence I’ve decided I’m gonna write more often! I will try to, at least. Let’s get to it.

What are we all afraid of? Well, apart from the fear caused by threat to our lives, what else scares (most of) us to bits? What is it that the principal of the school has that the substitute teacher doesn’t that makes us scared of her? What does the boss have that our co-workers don’t that makes us want to impress him? What is this which causes this fear?

This is my theory: it’s judgement. We humans are afraid of being judged. We couldn’t give two hoots about what the substitute teacher thinks of us because she’ll be gone in an hour. The principal is there to stay. It’s important that the principal thinks good of us. The substitute teacher is unimportant. The principal has power. Similarly, the boss has power. All of this is well and good, but what am I getting at here?

The fear of judgement can be a good tool to get us working – when in the correct environment with the appropriate people. You’ve gotta recognize the power certain people have and give respect to it.

The problem starts when one starts fearing everyone’s judgement. That is what creates social anxiety. Social anxiety is exactly this in a nutshell. The fear of being judged. This fear is irrational and goes for everyone. People who have social anxiety possess this fear and this fear is exactly what causes anxiety in a social environment.

What are the other implications of this fear of being judged? One is the noise students create in class/a bus/the assembly hall. Students are quiet when there is a person of authority nearby but not a normal teacher. Have you ever experienced this? When the principal walks into the room, what is it that the students are afraid of? Is he going to whip out a pistol and start shooting everyone who talks? No. The students are afraid of his judgement. It’s just simply that.

Why are some parts of the city incredibly dirty while others are squeaky clean? It’s the judgement. No one’s gonna judge you for throwing a small chips packet into a pile of burning trash in some murky part of the city. No one cares. Go to a posh locality and do the same thing – boom. Instant judgement and intense stares from passers-by. Some people might pass comments too. No one wants that.

Why do some people go to such great heights to procure and possess large houses and luxury cars? Judgement.

Of course, there are exceptions to every generalisation and this is no exception. Some people have genuine reasons for what they do. But judgement will play a small part, if any, in any of those. Observe and you shall notice.

What about the people who do it anyway? The kids who speak rudely to the principal? The guys who scream at their boss? That ass-hat who troubles the elderly in parks? Those guys aren’t afraid of being judged. So basically, our entire society boils down to this. Judgement.

What do we do with this knowledge? Let me give you a few ideas.

Teachers: give the respect you receive some value. That’s important. If the kids don’t know why they should respect you, apart from your mere position, they won’t. Why are some teachers better respected than others in a school? Because they know that the respect will get them something or somewhere. The principal can get them out of trouble. The PT teacher can get them more games periods. That awesome physics teacher can teach them something awesome out of class. What can you do? If you’re looking to discipline your kids, you need to give them value.

Socially Anxious People: Stop fearing judgement from everyone. No one on the street gives two hoots about how you behave. Those new kids who you want to meet and make friends with? If they don’t appreciate you for you, they’re probably not worth being with anyway. Same goes for women/men you might be trying to chase. Stop fearing. Start doing.

Leaders (or people aiming to be them): Leaders would know this already, but the rest need to know this: Stop fearing judgement. The men and women who are the current leaders in their fields did not care about what people thought when they started doing what they are doing. Start doing. Stop thinking.

 

That’s all for today guys. Keep in mind my album is gonna drop anytime in the next few months and it’s gonna be a free download! You shall be updated.

Take care and have a good day.

Mayank Sehgal

2 thoughts on “What Are We All Afraid Of?

  1. You can’t say “fear” of social judgment. The term is too strong. Being judged is undesirable and unpleasant and that’s about it. Maybe it causes short bursts of anxiety (our brain is programmed to do this), but nothing scary about it.

    If were’re talking about things that could not possibly harm us or others around us physically or mentally, then I say-
    You have nothing to fear but fear itself. //FDRoosevelt quote

    This applies to your theory of the fear of being judged by society. And honestly, people are judging you far less than you think they are judging you.
    Cause ain’t nobody got time fo dat.

    1. “And honestly, people are judging you far less than you think they are judging you.
      Cause ain’t nobody got time fo dat.” That was precisely the point I was trying to make for people suffering from social anxiety. You hit the nail on the head!

      I wasn’t saying that being judged is scary in the normal sense. I was saying that the fear of that happening (or lack thereof) is what causes us to behave differently around different people.

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